Tuesday, August 03, 2004


I know I should be posting my thoughts here and not the stuff I get from other people. I find it hard to be serious all the time. Even in the face of a crisis, I would always find a way to make fun of my situation or link my situation to something amusing.
I read this blog from a friend and I saw colors. I couldn't help but cry. Although I haven't seen her and the child, I somehow feel some form of attachment to them. I have been critical of her actions and indifferent toward his lifestyle but the kid is just a kid and he is innocent of his parents' sins.
I find it strange that I feel deeply and strongly for the loss. I can only imagine the pain a mother feels when she loses her child. It's more than losing a lover, it's losing an extension of your life. I can imagine the deep, dark void inside her, nothing can ever fill the emptiness she now feels.
I'm sorry. I wish I could comfort you but you never came to me for comfort. I'm sorry for being critical. I just wanted you to do the right thing, be the best you can be.
And for you, the father, I hope you find it in your heart to change, be a better man. You can never find happines in temporal things.
Both of you, have peace in your hearts. Go with God.
To the one in heaven playing with the angels, pray for your parents.


KiKaY DaW said...

one thing about you that is really remarkable is your ability to say straight out what you feel and think. Sometimes it can be considered as rude but to some who knows how to respect each individuality, a challenge to look and ponder at what came out of your mind.

I will not lie, this posting made me cry, not for the brutally of it's honesty but for the reality that someone out there who doesn't even know my son cried for him.

Yes the parents are messed up & lifestyle might not have measured to anyone's expectations but please don't forget, the best was given and handed and even searched for to show and make him feel loved and needed. He was the priority before anything else and nothing or no one came before him. He was the gift and he was the guide that kept me straight long after all the trials and test that came before and after I had him.

KiKaY DaW said...

...it is admirable of you for trying to imagine my feelings and being sympathetic, there is, however no way to explain what a mother goes through losing a child especially when the child is all she has in her life.

Thank you for the assurance taht you would have and will be there for comfort if ever I seek it but the thing with this sitaution, last thing you want to do is reach out for anyone. I priest who came to my son's viewing said "I know you will not seek me nor anyone but the right person will come without you seeking, to help get you through this" I didn't give importantce to that because I do not want or need any right person, I was answering him back in my mind telling him "the right person is my son"

but thank you...for everything...you might now know it but I was honest when I said, you made me feel relieve in some way when I saw you post in my blogspot. I am - again, thank you~

fionski said...

I guess people remember me for my brutality, not for the caring words I tell them. I have a previous post here that best describes who I am: Truth .
Like I said, I can only imagine what you are going through, I can only imagine what HE is going through. I'm not laying blame on either of you for your actions or lifestyle or for what happened. I want the both of you to be better persons, not only BECAUSE OF what happened but also INSPITE OF what happened.
Thanks for taking time to read my blog and posting a comment. I appreciate it.
Go with God!