Friday, October 29, 2004

Time to move on

Two years ago I "met" the sweetest, funniest, wittiest, smartest person online. He's very malambing, matalino and good looking. He had deep dimples and light brown eyes. His voice was very calm and soothing. I was attracted to him instantly. After 2 weeks and 3 days we became a couple. To me he was perfect. He fit the description of my ideal man, the one I've been praying for. I fell deeply inlove with him. Even my Mom loved him! They talked on the phone a few times before he left for the Middle East.
In my heart he was the one. He told me I was his life and that someday we would be together forever. Someday... It never happened, it will never happen...
He was living a lie, living a double life. I guess I was just his past time.
I do not regret loving him, giving him the love and attention I gave him. I would have given up everything for him, actually I did give up a lot of things for him. I had friends who got upset when spent more time with him than with them. Actually, I had more reasons not to go out with them and it's not just him but they would never understand me. I sacrificed a lot for him.
Unfortunately, he's so good at lying that he himself believes the lies he says, he lives and breathes his lies like they were true.
Do I regret loving him? No. Do I regret doing all those sacrifices for him? No. Was I stupid to have given him my love and trust? No. You get into a relationship giving your partner 100% trust, that's what I did. I didn't have any reason to doubt him, he was good to me and all I felt was love from him. I took the risk, it felt good for a while till I learned the truth. He broke my heart but he didn't break my spirit. I will not allow myself to wallow in self pity or think that I will never fall inlove again. It would be hard for me to get attracted to a new guy since he's my "benchmark" but I believe that I would meet someone worthy of my love. I value myself too much to allow myself to waste my life thinking about him.
It's our anniversary today, I forgot all about this event but my calendar sent me the announcement. I forgot to delete the announcement that reminded of the painful past, but it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I already got my closure. I'm doing fine.
Calendar reminder: Congratulations! You're finally moving on!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

A*&^%<$#=@+>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ang aga aga may dumating na buwisita. Someone whom I haven't seen in 2 years came here to make utang. Kapal niya ha! May atraso siya sa akin at Nanay ko. Kakuntsaba niya yung may ari ng lupang hinuhulugan ng Nanay ko. My Mom asked me to give Carol 5T para fully paid na ang lupa sa Quezon, 1T extra panggastos sa papeles and P500 for Carol. After she got the money, hindi na siya nagpakita. Yung asawa niya wala naman pakialam, he didn't even inform me na dumating na si Carol eh halos araw araw nakikita ko sya sa tapat bahay namin. I had to ask someone from their baranggay in Bulacan to talk to her. Carol said the owner of the land told her tumaas daw ang presyo ng lupa. WTF?!?! Apparently niloloko na nila ang Nanay ko. Di na ako nakialam. My Mom didn't bother me about this anymore because she knows this is her fault too. Matigas ulo niya eh.
Anyway, nangungutang si Carol sa akin ng pamasahe niya papunta ng Quezon kasi RAW makukuha na niya ang mana niya. Paki ko! I told her how can she expect me to help her when she didn't help me. She tried to reason out w/ me, gave me excuses but I just wanted to tell her that in 2 years she didn't even have the courtesy to tell me, to my face, that we are having problems with the ownership of that land? Kung wala siyang kasalanan hindi siya magtatago. She told me kinausap niya ang may ari ng lupa at kung ano ano pa sinabi nya don kasi naiipit daw siya. She came here daw to show my Auntie Mila the copy of the land. I told her wala na akong pakialam because it's not Auntie Mila who gave her the money, it was me so she should have talked to me. She tried to reason out, she even "threatened" me by saying isasangla na lang ang lupa so they could pay us. I wanted to tell her, "Tangina mo isaksak mo yang lupa na yan sa baga mo hindi ako maghahabol!" Akala niya siguro I'm that interested in the land! I want the money to be returned na lang. May pa punas punas pa sya sa mga mata nya wala naman tears sus! I was already quiet kasi hindi pa ako nakakapag kape at kumakain yun na ang sumalubong sa akin, umiinit na ulo ko, but she kept on talking and talking until finally napuno na ako I told her mainit na ulo ko kaya walk out na ako. Feeling ko hindi siya aalis at dadakdakan pa niya ako kaya mabuti na yung umalis na ako. Hehehe.

Pag akyat ko sa room ko I saw my cell, may message pala ako from someone I haven't heard from in months.

Friend: Mrng my byutipul frend, how r u?
Me: Day nagkamali ka yata ng send hehehe. Ok naman ako busy sa pag aaral. Musta ka?
Friend: Hehe, yaw mo sa byutipul?! M ok naman day bc din sa paghahanap ng kwarta
Me: Uy paputok! (this is her biz)
Friend: Hehe, bc ako kakahanap ng pera day at malaki ang mnthly ko sa new car. kumuha ako ng toyota vios, sold out na ang luma
Me: Hehe, bc ako kakahanap ng pera day at malaki ang mnthly ko sa new car. kumuha ako ng toyota vios, sold out na ang luma <= AH KAYA KA PALA NAGTXT BIGLA SA AKIN

Ewan ko lang kung na gets niya ibig kong sabihhin. I wanted to say KAYA KA NAGTXT SA AKIN PARA LANG SABIHIN MO MAY NEW CAR KA? Nyeta! This isn't the first time she had done this. Dati naman she texted me to ask me if I already know that Joe (a chatmate from Saudi) has arrived. I told her I had no idea because I don't chat anymore. Then she asked me if he has invited me to meet up w/ him. I said no. Then she said kasi raw siya sinabihan na magkita sila chuchuchuchu! THE?!(read as duh) Paki ko noh! She knows naman I don't chat anymore and I don't go to EB's anymore so what's her point in telling me this?! One time naman she texted me asking me if I could receive MMS, paano may camera na phone niya. Syet! Wala sigurong gustong makinig sa kanya pag nagpapasiklab siya. How very new rich! Para siya yung character ni Nova Villa sa Abangan ang Susunod na Kabanata. Hindi ko alam kung KSP siya o mayabang siya basta ako napupuno na ako sa mga taong ganyan!
Buwiset na Thursday morning oo!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Pambihira!

Bad trip talaga! Ako pa sinisisi mali naman yung pinagsasabi sa akin! Sabi 1 and 1/4 lang ng tapes makukuha ko ngayon nakita ko almost 2 tapes pala ito! Punyeta! Hindi ko na lang sana tinanggap ito!

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Ratratan na!

It's ratratan time! I have to finish 135 mins of taped interview of a group of people. Syet. Buti na lang di ko itra-translate na ito. Baka di na ako masinagan ng araw hanggang Wednesday! Huhuhu.
Sino kaya online ngayon? Hmmm...
Sino kaya yung cris_XX something na nagpa authorize sa akin sa Yahoo? Tanga ko naman kasi, I didn't even ask who he/she is. Tsk!
MommyBa sent me a picture, di ko muna tinitignan at baka hindi ko matapos itong trabaho ko. Hehehe.

Welcome to the World Jea!


Image_31.jpg
Originally uploaded by fionski.
This is Jea, my cousin Zoom's baby. She looks very much like her Daddy Johnny. Sarap ng may baby, ang bango-bango kahit nag-uu pa! Hmmmmmmm!


Juani's eyes, Zoomie's nose and mouth
Image_29.jpg
Originally uploaded by fionski.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Things My Mother Taught Me

I already posted this before but I'm sharing this again. This email never fails to make me smile. Thanks Liza G.!

My mother was a fanatic about public toilets. As a little girl, she'd bring me in the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, 'Never, never sit on a public toilet seat.' And she'd demonstrate 'The Stance,' which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. But by this time, I'd have gotten wet down my leg. And we'd go home. That was a long time ago. Even now in our more mature years, The Stance is excruciatingly difficult to maintain when one's bladder is especially full.

When you have to go to a public bathroom, you find a line of women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on Mel Gibson's underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, also crossing their legs and smiling politely. And you finally get closer. You check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is occupied. Finally, a stall door opens and you dash, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter. You hang your purse on the door hook, yank down your pants and assume 'The Stance.'

Relief. More relief. Then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance' as your thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale. To take your mind off it, you reach for the toilet paper. The toilet paper dispenser is empty. Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on-that's in your purse. It would have to do. You crumble it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work and your purse whams you in the head.

"Occupied!" you scream as you reach out for the door, dropping your tissue in a puddle and falling backward, directly onto the toilet seat.

You get up quickly, but it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with all the germs and life forms on the bare seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper, not that there was any, even if you had enough time to. And your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she knew, because her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, 'You don't know what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain and then it suddenly sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged to China. At that point, you give up.

You're soaked by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a Chicklet wrapper you found in your pocket then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the sinks with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged and unable to smile politely at this point.

One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long as the Mississippi River! You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and say warmly, 'Here. You might need this.'

At this time, you see your spouse, who has entered, used and exited his bathroom and read a copy of 'War and Peace' while waiting for you.

'What took you so long?' he asks, annoyed. This is when you kick him sharply in the shin and go home.

This is dedicated to all women everywhere who have ever had to deal with a public toilet. And it finally explains to all you men what takes us so long.

Other noteworthy immortal words of wisdom from my mom included:

(1) Pinch your nose every evening so that it would grow to be aquiline (didn't work).

(2) Never mix drinks. (Ignored up to the point when I woke up one morning after and thought my head would fall off.)

(3) "Nice girls don't smoke." (No comment.)

(4) Make sure your underwear has no holes on it; you never know when you'll meet with an accident.

(5) Don't wear pencil skirts when your behind is completely flat! (Also ignored.)

(6) No matter how pretty or smart you are, there'll always be someone prettier or smarter.

(7) The fate of a plain woman is often envied by a pretty woman.

(8) Never say, of these waters I will not drink.

(9) If you don't stop frowning, your face will freeze and you'll be ugly forever.

(10) Never go out into the sun without an umbrella or headgear; you don't see farmers in bikinis, do you?

(11) If you don't stop showing off how smart you are, no one will ever marry you.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Dante's Inferno Test - I Have Been Judged

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 2 times. The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Second Level of Hell!
You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:


LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate



Take the Dante's Inferno Test



As soon as I saw this test on Fred's blog, I had a feeling I would be sent to the 2nd level of hell. Of course, this is just for fun, no truth to this test. Hehehe.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Merry Christmas!


Image_22
Originally uploaded by fiona.d.
I know this may appear as inappropriate but I just want to show the "spirit of the season" through this picture
A friend sent me underwear and he admitted that it was supposed to be a joke. I wondered why. As soon as I saw the underwear I instantly thought he was wishing me a merry christmas. The underwear had the christmas colors: red and green with gold glitters. Hahahaha!
Nice one Ahia Tim.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

In Loving...

(From my email)

When you think of your past love, you may view itas a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go!

You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happpines means that you're not part of it. Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try.

You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love. Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall. You just fall.

You cannot finish a book without closing it'schapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture inwhich we are always learning, discovering and growing.

The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go.

We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.

To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risk nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self, to love is to risk not to be loved in return. How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.

Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength.

But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that they were the things that helped you grow.

Loving someone means giving him/her the freedom tofind his/her way...

Sunday, October 17, 2004

One True Love

The little old couple walked slowly into McDonalds that cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking."Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

The little old man walked right up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for theirmeal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.

The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully Cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of thedrink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As the man began to eat his few bites of hamburger the crowd began to get restless. Again you could tell what they were thinking. "That poor old couple. All they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his french fries one young man stood and came over to the old couples table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple to eat.

The old man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing everything. Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to him buy them something to eat. This time the lady explained that no, they were used to sharing everything together.

As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatlywith a napkin the young man could stand it no longer. Again he came over to their table and offered to buy some food.

After being politely refused again he finally asked a question of the little old lady, "Maam, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?"

She answered, "The teeth."

Thursday, October 14, 2004

International Caribbean

The "boys" called the place IC or International Caribbean but used Cangcangan because of, uhm, you know, the word kangnang. You got it right Mec! Hehehe.
It was 11PM when after a few shots of gin, the boys decided to bring us to IC. Nagpaalam kami ng sister ko sa Mudra dear, sabi namin we ran out of drinks so bili lang kami sa 7-11 sandali. IC is in the heart of Grace Park in Caloocan but I'm not sure if it's still there. We didn't see anything unusual, just men in trunks/briefs dancing. Gawain ng mga kasama namin while watching is to rate the dancers and tell us which guy is dako and which one has a labakara. Hehehe.
We got home around 3AM. Mom caught us. "Kakarating niyo lang? Akala ko ba sa 7-11 kayo nagpunta?" My sister and I responded, "Opo, 7-11 sa ParaƱaque." Classic!

A few years ago my friends and I went to Gigolo (correction hindi Adonis yung napuntahan namin) on Timog. Ang mahal don ha! P300 for entrance for women while men pay P150 I think. Drinks for the ladies are P375 while men's drinks are P75. Wala kaming nakitang unusual, the boys were just walking ala ramp models. Some looked young. We couldn't stay for long because we would have to pay the entrance. Silip lang tapos sibat na.

My closest encounter with a macho dancer was 2 years ago at a bridal shower, my sister's best friend's shower and I was invited. One of the ladies knows this dancer, his name is Rey I think. He requested a tape/cd player, some rubber band and a shawl/sarong. He needed these items for his show. He was naked underneath the sarong and he would open the sarong and wrap his victim inside the sarong as he rubs his body against his victim as he grinds to the music. Syempre para hindi makita ng iba what the victim is doing with his schlong. We were all screaming inside the room. No one wanted to touch him kasi nakakahiya. Was he dako? I think so. Madilim masyado but I remember seeing his pubic hair when he came near me, tumakbo ako. It was dark inside the room most of the time, isa pa sa request niya yon. Harang! May itsu sya in fairness. He drove a Honda Civic to the party. Either his job pays very well or he has a rich sugar fafa!

Thanks for dropping by Cerridwen, Mari and Mec.

The rubber bands were supposed to make his balls rounder and firmer, FYI.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Sorry Miss Kiwi Pinay

I owe Kiwi Pinay an apology. I thought the Bong she was saying was the same guy I had in mind, apparently iba pala. Now I remember who Bong is, the chinese guy. Iba nasa isip ko. Hehehe.

I was thinking of telling a story about Kiwi Pinay and my sister's group kaso tinatamad ako right now. Wala ako sa mood mag susulat. Gusto ko nga rin sana ikuwento ang mga barkada nila na nakilala ko: Amos, Jun and Noel. These guys took me and my sister to International Cangcangan, a gay bar. My first time! I would like to give the gory details of their sex stories kaso baka ako ma censor dito. Sayang, eye opener pa man din mga kuwento nila. Hahahaha!

Asan na ba prayer beads ko? Hehehe!

Monday, October 11, 2004

Why Men Aren't Married


An online buddy from Australia sent me this. I don't know if this is true, I hope everyone, especially the menfolk, would comment on this.

Last week we threw a bachelor party for one of our good friends and then on Saturday afternoon we stood beside him in our tuxes while he and his fiancee said their vows. As I stood up there looking across the crowd, I decided that our next topic on this page would definitely talk about marriage. I also realized that alot of women may not want to hear the truth about men and marriage because the truth is so simple that they could not accept it without questioning their own relationship.

But I am here to tell you - DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.

The sad thing about it is that it took a woman to bring it to my attention. I had a close friend of mine tell me that she was pursuing a stable man with a girlfriend. When I asked her did she feel wrong about that she said "Shyt, a girlfriend ain't nothing - girlfriends come and go. If the man is established and he isn't either marr ied or engaged, then he is not that serious about her and he is fair game" I thought about this for a minute and came to a cold conclusion: IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH.

He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for something better or is waiting for her to become something better. Point blank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her his wife.

And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5 years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either. The only reason that a man will get married after that long of a time is because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's definitely what he was doing all of those years.
So if you should happen to find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then maybe you should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is that you're missing that this man is not willing to fully commit. Don't make excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh he's waiting til he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting until he moves from his apartment to a house". DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or fiancee by your side?
So ladies, when you read this think about your situation and that man that you are living with. Or the one that you spend many nights over his house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father that you are still in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "ex" that you are in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definitely think twice before you brag on a relationship that's a couple of years long and you still have no commitment.
Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation. I've been there and I know that we can come up with some extremely reasonable excuses, but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Nothing is more sad than the death of an illusion...

It is still best to wait for the one we want rather than settle for the one that is available. It is still best to wait for the one you love than settle for the one who is around. It is still best to wait for the right person. Because life is too short to waste on the wrong one.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Lindol!!

It was past 10PM I was on the sofa while my nephew was in bed, we were watching something I can't even remember now kasi kinakalikot ko ang cellphone ko. Naramdaman kong parang yumugyog ang sofa. Tinignan ko ang nephew ko and asked him if he felt it. Nakatingin lang ang nephew ko sa akin nakikiramdam siya. Ilang minuto na nakakalipas may nagshe-shake pa rin. Lindol nga! Pinatayo ko na sya from his bed. Biglang lumakas ang yugyog. Nagworry na ako, parang hindi na yata titigila at lalakas pa ang pang yanig ng hospital building. Nasa 8th floor kami kaya ramdam namin ang pang hampas ng gusali. Ninenerbyos na ang pamangkin ko, pati ako pero di ko pinapahalata sa kanya. Dahan-dahan kong hinila sabitan ng IV niya na parang matutumba pag hinila mo dahil sa bigat ng sabitan at ng bote na nakasabit dito. I let him stay under the door frame of his room and told him to stay there. Imagine from his bed to the door it took us 2-3 minutes pero lumilindol pa rin kahit nadon na kami. Matagal din sya. Tapos ng humupa na ang lindol nag ring ang telepono sa room. It was my sister, she was worried sick kasi she tried calling my cell but it was off, akala siguro niya may nangyari na sa amin na masama. Umiiyak na pala siya non. Then my sister in law called to check on us kasi ang mga anak niya nagwoworry sa amin dahil dalawa lang kami sa hospital. When she gave the phone to her son, nagiiiyak na ang bata kasi parang nagworry ng husto sa pinsan nila baka kung anong mangyari sa kanya. Parang gusto kong umiyak when I heard him cry. Pati pala ang bunso umiiyak na rin. Maryosep! May nagduet! Hehehe.
Nakikiramdam kami ng mga kapitkuwarto namin kung may aftershock na darating at kung may balita na tungkol sa lindol. Nakapanood ako ng news late na at halos hindi ko na rin maalala kasi inaantok na ako non.
Kung ako lang siguro ang nandon malamang hindi ako nagworry gaano kasi sigurado akong makakahanap ako ng paraan to save myself. Kung lumakas man ang lindol at gumuho ang ospital, ok lang din kasi wala akong dependents so I can "go" anytime. Kaso I was with my nephew whom I love very much, hindi ako papayag na may mangyaring masama sa kanya, definitely I would have to save him if something bad happened. He was entrusted to me so I was responsible for his well being. Hindi yata madali yon. Buti na lang pinauwi ko yung 4 year old son ng sister ko. He wanted to stay behind kasama ko raw magbantay sa kuya niya. Pinauwi ko kasi wala syang mga damit at iba pang gamit at baka magiiiyak sa pag gising niya sa umaga. Kung sakali pala nadagdagan ang responsibilidad ko that night.
I think there was a milder quake around Aug or Sept this month.
Signs of things to come?

Friday, October 08, 2004

Our Enchanted Experience


log_kids.JPG
Originally uploaded by fionski.
I've been wanting to post the picture of our Enchanted Kingdom trip. Ang saya-saya! The kids had so much fun that they want to go back there. I'm glad nag enjoy sila. That was our way of making up for our pagkukulang for the kids. Di bale mauulit pa naman ito.
Log Jam with Renmund, Jed, Krista and Bianca.



log.JPG
Originally uploaded by fionski.
I'm here with Jed and Renmund(the kid infront). This is the Jungle Log Jam ride. All smiles kaming lahat. We were not aware there was a camera taking a pic. Harang, laki ng bayad kuha. This is the kids' second ride. The next day my face was red, sunkissed ako(not sunburned). Tisay eh! Nyahahaha!




riogrande.JPG
Originally uploaded by fionski.

This is the Rio Grande ride. Complete kami dito. Masaya ito kasi the ride is kinda rough and everybody gets wet. 2 kids cried during the ride, Irvin(bald kid) and Krista(small girl). We wanted a second ride but Irvin cried and wanted to stay behind, so his Dad had to stay behind with him. We all look like wet chicks here (basang sisw). Hehehe!


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PS. Got this from Hanagirl's blog. This is how evil I am. Bwahahahaha!
I am 42% evil.


Posted by Hello

I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.
Are you evil?

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Palpak!

Kinalikot ko na naman kasi itong template ko yata nawindang na naman ang design nya! Haaaaaaaaaayy!!!

Love At Second Sight

Were you expecting me to tell you my love story just because the title of my blog has the word "love" chuchu? Hehehe. Asa pa kayo!
While I was chatting with my cousin and my friend, both are ladies and we were talking about relationships, as usual, this song suddenly started playing in my head. I wasn't even listening to any music kanina, I just "remembered" the song. Maganda sya, magaling si David Foster, very dramatic, cinematic mga songs niya. Gumamit ka ba namang ng orchestra for one song, syempre ganda ng effect! Mag enjoy na lang kayo sa pakikinig, wala kayong choice eh. Hehehe!

If we learn to pace ourselves
it won't seem so dramatic, it won't be so unclear
'cause if we learn to pace ourselves
the ghost up in the attic might just disappear
you may not agree that it could happen here
And in the morning
I think we're gonna laugh somehow
at what we are afraid of now
'cause in the morning
we'll know better than tonight
if it's gonna end up love (at second sight)

And if we learn to trust our hearts
and disregard the voices leading us away
and we can make a better start
we have all the choices, we have all the say
you might not agree, but you can't walk away
And in the morning
I think we're gonna laugh somehow
at what we are afraid of now
'cause in the morning
we'll know better than tonight
if it's gonna end up love (at second sight)

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Feng Shui for Love

My friend Paul married a nice and smart Chinese lady named Agnes. She gives feng shui advice for free, part of her "mission" to help other people. A few years ago she gave me feng shui advice, I dunno if I got everything right, because I put a picture of mandarin ducks on my South wall thinking that was my lucky wall. When I talked to her again recently she said my lucky wall is North! I checked my directions and the pic has always been on my North wall pala! Whew! I hope someone would benefit from these tips that were given to me.


Mandarin Ducks form a strong attachment to their partners and are said to pine away and die, hence, they are also an emblem of conjugal fidelity. A pair of Mandarin Ducks are excellent symbols for keeping love alive. Always keep in a pair and display them in your Tien yi romance direction in your home to keep your romance alive. All About Feng Shui recommends consulting a professional Feng Shui consultant if you find that you are having problems.

Kaya naman pala palpak yung ex ko kasi I displayed a bunch of mallards on my wall instead of mandarin ducks! Para siyang mallard!




Or you can display a pair of mandarin ducks in the Southwest. Make sure the mandarin ducks are the real mandarin ducks and not mallards, which are often passed off as mandarin ducks. Mallards change partner every season, attracting the wrong kind of guy/girl if you want a steady relationship, whereas the real mandarin ducks with the ruffled feathers round their necks stay with their partner for life. Also, make sure the mandarin ducks you display are made of gemstone (Earth element) and NOT wood; because wood destroys Earth.





Sabi pa ni Agnes I should put peonies in my room but peonies are not available here in the Philippines. Puwede yata yung artificial flowers. Sabi niya gumamelas with lots of petals look like peonies but they are not peonies. Ingat na ako ngayon baka magkamali na naman ako pumalpak na naman mahuka kong guy. If I use artificial flowers, di kaya artificial love din makuha ko? Hahaha!
She also told me to face the North when I'm working, eating, or using my computer, wear white most of the time, wear gold jewelry and sleep with my head pointing North. Mukhang mapaparenovate ang room ko ng di oras. Mukhang isasangla ko na ang aking diamond necklace ah. Hehehe.
I know some of you are skeptical pero what have I got to lose diba? Malalaman niyo kung epektib!
Btw, your lucky direction depends on your birthdate. If symptoms persist, consult your doctor.



Rio Diaz is "safely home"

Rio Diaz passed away this morning. Her ordeal has somewhat affected me. She wrote this one letter to Ricky Lo that helped me strengthen my faith in the Lord. I even shared that article to my relatives abroad. It was a good piece.
Hanagirl expressed her fear of death on her blog. I myself have a hard time grasping the concept of death. I can't imagine myself not "thinking" anymore. I can't imagine my consciousness not existing anymore. The idea is just plain abstract to me.
Anyway, I try to accept death as part of the cycle of life. You leave everything behind, all your cares, problems, aches and pains. Rio Diaz is finally resting in peace. Her suffering has finally ended. I'm sure she's happy where she is now.


Monday, October 04, 2004

Madamdaming Tugtugin

Dahil nagsesentimyento ako ngayong start ng week, gusto kong palitan na ang aking background sounds, yung tipo ng sounds na trip ko pang depressed ako o lonely.
Sabayan niyo ako sa aking paghihinagpis.
Lahat tayo makinig sa makabagbag damdaming...
Rock The Casbah!
On my sidebar you will find the player, pls click the play button. Thanks!

*Sigh*

I can't believe I got emotional on a Monday morning. I try not to think about my useless problems, try not to get upset but I'm only human.
It's hard to be all alone, you face your problems all by yourself. Life's blows would be a little less painful when you have someone to share your sorrows with, your happiness would be magnified if you have someone to share your joys (with).
Thanks for the support G. It was a little embarassing to let you see me with my guard down. But I trust you. I can say our friendship is better now.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Dito Ba?

Mom called last night because I sent her a message asking if her application for a house has been approved. Sabi malalaman pa lang niya. Kuwentuah ng konti then she passed the phone to my Dad. As usual nagsusumbong ang Tatay ko sa mga ginagawa ng Nanay ko na hindi niya maintindihan, ganon din naman Nanay ko nagsusumbong din sa akin tungkol sa Tatay ko pero this time it was my Dad's turn. Dami namin napangusapan. Nalungkot akong bigla, na miss ko silang bigla. Pininigilan ko ang umiyak kasi ayaw kong marining ng Tatay ko na umiiyak ako at baka mahirapan siya at mapaiyak din. Masaya na rin naman ako na nandon sila sa Amerika. Kung tutuusin para silang bagong kasal ngayon, may bagong buhay sila at magagawa na nila gusto nila, mga bagay bagay na hindi nila nagawa simula noong ikinasal sila. My Dad is 60, my Mom is 55, they have jobs that would allow them to buy a house there, hulugan of course. It would even be hard for them to get decent paying jobs at their age here! But they have this chance in the US kaya take advantage sila. Malayo man sila sa mga mahal nila sa buhay, ginagawa na lang nila ito para sa kanila. Anyway matatanda na kaming mga anak nila, may pamilya na ang dalawa kong kapatid so wala na silang problema.

I'm not saying that life abroad is a lot better than here but if we are to be realistic, wala ka talagang patutunguan dito ngayon. Imagine my parents, at their they have decided to start their lives abroad because they don't have a "future" here. Kung single ka at medyo nakakasapat ang suweldo mo sa iyo, ok lang na mamalagi ka dito pero paano kung may asawa at anak ka na? Ang suweldo mong 25T magkakasya ba yan sa isang buwan? Kung 2 income family kayo at kinikita niyo ay umaabot na sa 40T puwede siguro lalo na kung 1 lang ang anak niyo. Paano kung 2 anak niyo? Paano kung nasa grade school na anak niyong pareho, syempre masmalaki na ang gastos. Maliit ang 70T sa isang exclusive school na medyo sossy dito sa Metro Manila. Kung hindi naman sossy at di rin exclusive baka 40T. Wala pang books, uniforms, and incidental expenses like pamasahe, meryenda money, lunch money, etc. Paano kung nagkasakit ang anak mo at kinakailangang ma ospital o kailangan ng gamot na P75/pill, 2 times a day for 2 weeks?

I'm sure Huseng Busabos, Tanggero, Kakang Pepe and Techguy know what I'm saying. Sigurado akong hindi naging madali para sa kanila ang umalis ng bansa. Masakit, mahirap pero kinakailangan gawin. Hindi komo't iniwan nila ang kanilang bayan ay hindi na nila mahal ito. Mas kinakailangan lang nilang bigyan prioridad ang mga needs ng pamilya nila. Malamang iniisip din nila na bumalik dito para mag retire. Possible kaya yon?

On that note I would like to end my post with Kuya Hussy's poem:

Inang Bayan
aking bayang iniwan, masakit man ang katwiran kailangan
kitang iwan, para sa aking kapakanan
sariwang damo doon sa kanluran
tinawagan ako, dahil sila'y nangangailangan

kakalitong sistema, pilit pinag aralan
upang maging normal sa bayang pinuntahansang
katerbang pasyalan, hindi kayang palitan
ang lungkot na nadarama, sa aking inang bayan

ala-ala'y dala dala, saan man aking kalagyan
kamot-kamot aking paa, pag ikay napaguusapan
darating ang panahon, ika'y babalikan
paglubog ng araw, ka-akbay nating pagmamasdan
Special mention lang sa iba pang bloggers na kilala ko na nasa abroad din:
Harold who is in Bharain. My oldest and dearest friend. I get a lot of technical help from him. He's like a brother to me.
KiwiPinay in NZ - if you've been following her blog you will she what she's been through lately. I read BongK's comment how hard it must have been for Kiwipinay to go through her ordeal alone. I know the feeling, I went through a similar process. Di ko na masyadong binabasa blog niya kasi nagiging emotional ako hehehe.
Cerridwen from the US - even though she's lived all her life abroad, her heart is very much Pinoy. I admire her.
Sandro from Qatar - a total stranger who gave me my gmail kas I begged for days till he finally got tired of my pangugulit and gave me my invite. Thanks fafa Sandro.

Look at what I just stumbled upon:
By now, I had been living here in San Francisco for more than 5 months already, having arrived here last April 17, 2004. It was a sad and painful departure from Manila which has now turned into a long, long road towards adjustment and stability. It hasn't been easy. The daily struggle has been tough. It is never easy to uproot and move to a new country where you are nearly alone, save for relatives and a few friends. But to leave everything you have been accustomed to, that is one of the hardest things in life. To leave Manila, that was one of the hardest choices I had to make. It wasn't a happy choice, definitely. But I feel it is a logical choice, given the opportunity.


Friday, October 01, 2004

Sorry...

Had to delete the pic here kasi I fear that the pic could be "stolen" from my site and passed around in other sites. Nakakawa naman friend ko, baka someone might steal her body and put another face to it. Hehehe. Picpic ko na lang, gusto niyo?

Btw Cerridwen, I don't think I'm meant to buy the cell. A lot of unexpected expenses came up. I have a part time job offer but I don't think I'm inclined to take it. Telemarketing, ugh!
Tanggers, nakita mo ba yung URL na ni-post ko sa blog mo? Yun yata yung dalawang babaeng nakita mo sa pool sa dream mo eh.