Monday, October 11, 2004

Why Men Aren't Married


An online buddy from Australia sent me this. I don't know if this is true, I hope everyone, especially the menfolk, would comment on this.

Last week we threw a bachelor party for one of our good friends and then on Saturday afternoon we stood beside him in our tuxes while he and his fiancee said their vows. As I stood up there looking across the crowd, I decided that our next topic on this page would definitely talk about marriage. I also realized that alot of women may not want to hear the truth about men and marriage because the truth is so simple that they could not accept it without questioning their own relationship.

But I am here to tell you - DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.

The sad thing about it is that it took a woman to bring it to my attention. I had a close friend of mine tell me that she was pursuing a stable man with a girlfriend. When I asked her did she feel wrong about that she said "Shyt, a girlfriend ain't nothing - girlfriends come and go. If the man is established and he isn't either marr ied or engaged, then he is not that serious about her and he is fair game" I thought about this for a minute and came to a cold conclusion: IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH.

He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for something better or is waiting for her to become something better. Point blank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her his wife.

And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5 years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either. The only reason that a man will get married after that long of a time is because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's definitely what he was doing all of those years.
So if you should happen to find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then maybe you should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is that you're missing that this man is not willing to fully commit. Don't make excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh he's waiting til he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting until he moves from his apartment to a house". DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or fiancee by your side?
So ladies, when you read this think about your situation and that man that you are living with. Or the one that you spend many nights over his house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father that you are still in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "ex" that you are in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definitely think twice before you brag on a relationship that's a couple of years long and you still have no commitment.
Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation. I've been there and I know that we can come up with some extremely reasonable excuses, but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Nothing is more sad than the death of an illusion...

It is still best to wait for the one we want rather than settle for the one that is available. It is still best to wait for the one you love than settle for the one who is around. It is still best to wait for the right person. Because life is too short to waste on the wrong one.

9 comments:

Cerridwen said...

in short:
do not marry just to settle down
do not settle down just because you can't turn her down
do not make her think it will go somewhere when it wont and last...
do not stop her from fidning the right one when you can't be that one.

this applies to men too ate F, nowadays, us women will not accept a marriage proposal just because we are "at that age" or our "biological clock is ticking away". If you have been with me 3 years and I have turned your diamond down 3 times already even though it keeps getting bigger hehehe, then...time to offer that ring to someone else.

KiKaY DaW said...

ate fionski tanungin mo na lang yan ilang singsing na tinaggihan heeheehee
ikaw ate fionski ilan na pinatalsik mo?

ang mga lalaki nga kasi kung feel mo na di makapag commit at yun ang gusto mo iwanan na! kasi kung puro lab lang un pairalin la ka nya hanggang makakita sya ng pakakasalan tapos i dump ka na di buti pa i dump mo at maghanap ka ng mag settle wid u... o di ba???

fionski said...

May mga panahon na narealize ko na buti na lang I didn't end up marrying "him" kasi I'm sure I'd be miserable now. Kaya hindi ako senti, yang mga biradang "what might have been" sa akin sigurado sagot ko dyan "buti na lang!"
I'm not sour graping kasi totoo naman eh. Cerridwen you know me and what I've been through.
Uy si Kikay nag comment na rin. Salamat ha. Link mo ako, link na kita eh hehehe.
I wonder why the guys won't comment. Kahapon pa ito.

BongK said...

hi fionski,

i dont know about the other guys but i can honestly say that at the back of my mind (batok ba yon?) takot or ayaw ko ng responsibilidad, and this is sooo bad. Secondly, i guess im enjoying my single life too much that i have negated "commitment" (i am committed or married only to my work hehehehehe). Thirdly, there is such a thing as "the right person has yet to come". Fourthly, wala pa akong sariling bahayyyy (i guess this is a valid reason for not settling down ha?), and lastly, sige na nga aaminin ko na, hindi ako ang gusto ng gusto ko, may mahal ng iba ang mahal ko waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

swerte mo fionski, ang blog mo lang ang na-aaccess ng inutil kong PC na gamit ngayon, sa dinami dami ng links sa blog ko hehehehehe, but again ur such a good anecdoter.. good morning

mari said...

hi fiona,this entry is true. add to that, marriage doesnt mean that the guy is already contented with the wife. he'd still play around. it's their nature. well, there are guys who are loyal but they are close to extinction hehe. anyways, it's nothing new really. guys are simply like that. girls (us) just have to accept that. otherwise, we can always leave 'em right?

fionski said...

Koyang Bong sino yan ha? Part ba ng wento mo sa blog mo yan? May puso ka pala hehehe. Joke lang.

Thanks for dropping by my blog Mari! Yup, men will never be contented. Maybe nature made them that way and we just have to accept that fact and think of ways to get back at them or at least make them pay. Hahaha!

Tanggero said...

Ganun ba mari, nauubos na ba ang lahi namin :)??? I have to propagate na pala, any volunteers? ahehehe
Seriously, this writing definitely came from a modern-cultured ass, where sex is just a sex and where you can do a trial and error relationship. I don't know even if he's a broken-hearted gay because of the marriage of his(boy)friend. I just think that every man has a different principle on this matter and so as the women.
Marriage after all is about 2 people.

HanAgiRL said...

the problem is you'll never know if he's the wrong or right one for you di ba? only time can tell.

fionski said...

Hanagirl has a point there. You will never know unless you try.