Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Where to?

San ba ako punta? Dyan lang sa tabi tabi, soul searching kuno kse nawawala yata kaluluwa ko. Hehehe.
I need some time off from my responsibilities here at home and hopefully I'd be able to take care of myself this time.
I feel that I've been misjudged by my family and they have trivialized my role and responsibilities. I'm thinking if I leave for a while, they would see what I've done for this family. Not that I'm seeking praise from them, just a simple form of acknowledgement lang, not even a thank you. Some people have conveniently dumped their responsibilities on me and now I'm taking crap for it. Sheesh!
I also need this time off to figure out what's really happening to me and hopefully I'd know what to do with my life. I think I have used my responsibilities at home as a convenient excuse not to pursue my goals, or maybe use it as a reason to fail at my personal plans. I'm slowly starting to see clearly now, I should give ME the time.
Lastly, this vacation will be some sort of risk taking exercise for me, I'm taking another leap of faith. This is kinda unnerving for me since I've done this before and I fell flat on my face. I had a hard time picking up the pieces of my life for a while. I hope that this time around, I'd have something waiting to catch me when I jump. It's scary because I might get stood up again but if I don't take the risk now then how would I know, right? I'm 37, I need to know what my options are. If I stay at home all day, nothing good will come out of it. Blessings won't fall from the roof and onto my lap. Tapos na mourning ko, I've washed my face and combed my hair, now I'm ready to face the world again.
Thanks Mari, Arrow-N and G. Hope the best for you guys too. Till next blog entry!

Ready or Not

6 weeks have passed and I feel not ready for what's about to happen to me. I've been preparing for the trip but I still havent made reservations, and I just realized yesterday that I over spent and I don't have money anymore.
Last night I remembered my past, how I was treated, how I was made a fool. All the negative thoughts and emotions started flooding me. No wonder I've been so negative about this coming event in my life, I've been programmed to expect the worst that's why I've been resisting the good that's about to happen, i.e. if there is really something good about to happen.
Heaven help me.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Kapag ang Palay Naging Bigas, May Bumayo" Sequels

In the tradition of "Kapag ang Palay Naging Bigas, May Bumayo", here
are some more *classic* Filipino movie titles:

1. Kapag ang halaman naging puno, may sumibak

2. Kapag ang tahong bumuka, may sumipsip

3. Kapag ang tulya nabasa, may dumila

4. Kapag ang manok tumilaok, may lumunok

5. Kapag ang mani nangamoy, may bumaboy

6. Kapag ang itlog pumutok, may pumitik

7. Kapag ang bibingka nagka-niyog, may kumayod

8. Kapag ang mani umiinit, may mapupunit

9. Kapag ang talong sumulong, may pumatong

10. Kapag ang pinya nagka-katas, may tumabas

11. Kapag ang papaya ang ibiniyaya, may liligaya

12. Kapag ang pasas tumigas, may humimas

13. Kapag ang ibon nagka-pugad, may alagad

14. Kapag ang tuba naging suka, may sumawsaw

15. Kapag ang damo nakalbo, may umararo

16. Kapag ang mani namaga, may nag-laga

17. Kapag ang tiyan nagka-bukol, may pumalakol

18. Kapag ang mata tumirik, may tumurok

19. Kapag si Inday umaray, may sumakay

20. Kapag ang ahas tumuka, may bubukaka

21. Kapag ang butas hindi madulas, may minamalas

22. Kapag ang monay nilamas, magugulo ang balbas

23. Kapag ang penoy inamoy, sasaya si Manoy

24. Kapag ang bibingka may itlog, espesyal (wala lang).

25. Kapag ang buhok magulo, B^LB*L!

This one's for you G!

Thursday, February 17, 2005


Found this on Yahoo's daily wire service. Interesting! I wonder what I would post here if I were to post at all?

Monday, February 14, 2005

A Happy Valentine's Day

Originally uploaded by fionski.

People, allow me to gloat and enjoy my VD this year.
Last year I was depressed, my doctor told me I had the classic symptoms of depression. From December to Febuary I was down in the dumps. My favorite past time then was sleeping inside my brother's room during the daytime, keep the lights off, TV on but on mute.
This year, my Christmas and New Year celebration were relatively happier, I had peace of mind and heart. Valentine's Day is even more special. Last time I got flowers on VD was in the mid 90s and from my female students. I don't remember getting anything from any of my past boyfriends. Last time a guy gave me flowers was on my birthday, Dec 2001. I got 12 long stemmed roses, ordered via the internet. Someone from chat sent it to me. Unfortunately, we were never meant to be.
This year is special. Right after chatting with S, I got a call from the flowershop asking for directions. S sent me flowers!!! 1 dozen long stemmed roses with chocolates and a cute teddy bear. The card was simple, only "happy valentine's day" was written there. Kilig ako!
Thanks S! You made my VD very special, you made me feel very special.


Record Breaking Kisses!

I watched Korina Sanchez's TV show last night, she featured Lovapalooza 2. Aliw ako! I saw all kinds of people kissing, even really old people on wheelchairs started to kiss at the stroke of 12 midnight.
I saw all kinds of couples kissing and all kinds of kisses. Some were as simple as a peck or a
smack on the lips that lingered for 10 secs, some were as passionate as tongue rolling kisses! I saw one couple's tongue moving in and out of their mouths as they were kissing. That was a bit unnerving. Some where really into the kissing while others were there just to help break the world record. I think it's cute!

Philippines may have broken the world record! Got this news bit from inq7:

MORE than 5,000 Filipino couples kissed simultaneously for 10 seconds to welcome Valentine's Day and set a new world record, organizers said Saturday.

Organizers of the "Lovapalooza" in Manila, an attempt to break the record for most people kissing simultaneously in one area, said 5,122 smooching couples broke the old record set by 4,500 couples in the Chilean capital Santiago last year.

Atienza had said the kissing event would be restricted to married couples, because of the Philippines' conservative Roman Catholic culture, but a casual check of participants found many of them were not married.

I don't want to be a wet rag but I think it's best to have legit couples at the Lovapalooza kissing. No one wants to see his/her partner kissing someone else on TV!

Who wants to join me at the Lovapalooza 3 next year?

Happy VD everyone!!! May you have more VDs to come!!!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Classic Cameraphone

Latest cellphone view Remember this phone? This is the latest in cameraphone technology. May cam kana, may phone ka pa!

If you're wondering which type of camphone I used to take my pics (in my previous entry), I used a limited edition camphone. It has the old yet classic look of a telephone and camera combined, with the features of the latest in cellphone technology. See for yourself:


Remember, limited edition lang ito! What are you waiting for? If you want to look as intriguing and seductive as me (in my pics) then order now! Post your orders here! Our friendly operators are standing by to take your calls/emails. We accept cash, check and major credit cards.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005


Originally uploaded by fionski.

All pics here are taken with the use of my camphone. I like the effect of Chiaroscuro in my pics.


Chiaroscuro is the play of light and shade. I remember this term from my Humanities 1 class, my teacher's name's Cherry(she didn't want to be called Miss or Ma'am). We used Art, Man and Nature as reference. Senti ako! Hehehe.

same date

I adjusted this one, auto level thingy. The effect of the play of light and shade is still evident here. Just don't look at my background. Hahaha!

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Sex and Consequence - Hopefully The Final Chapter

I saw her online last week, a big sigh of relief! At least I know she's fine. She said she's fine, the D&C went well but she's now US $820 poorer plus airfare. She went on telling me how hard it was to be naglilihi and that she was able to talk to Dindo before she left for Singapore. She said, "Dindo said he's was willing to take responsibility and was willing to support me and the kid. I know naman daw how he feels abt me."
"How does he feel about you?" I asked.
"Ay, nagprofess ng undying love, " she said.
"He loves you?"
She added, "Yan ang sabi ng lolo mo. Sabi ko kelan mo napagtanto yan? Matagal na raw, sabi ko parang hindi ko naramdaman."
"He professed his undying love after this incident? Hehehehe!" I sniggered at the thought.
"You may have told me how you feel about me eh naitanong mo ba saken how I feel about you? Tanong sya how i feel abt him daw, sabi ko not nearly enough for me to want to keep this baby! Nagulantang siya." Apparently, she has no feelings for Dindo and had no felt no remorse for terminating the life in her womb.
Then she went on with her story, how she had a hard time after her D&C, it felt like she was having major PMS after her D&C. She had to pay more because she's not a citizen of Singapore. She said her BF was there to meet her and stayed with her till she left for the Philippines.
"Your BF was there? So he knows? What did he say?" I was surprised.
"He met me there for the operation. Yes, he knows and he offered to help with the expenses. Sabi ko i have enough money naman, nakunsensya nga ako eh actually he wanted for us to keep the baby ready na naman daw sya maryones eh chinito ang Dindo, Amerkano ang fafa ko, maryones! Gulong malupet yon! So I just told him I'm not ready yet."
"Hmm... You didn't tell him the truth?"
"I did, told him before I left for Singapore. He said since it happened before kame officially naging kame, he can deal with it." Then se added, "He'd be ok daw naman if i want to keep it, I said never talaga!" He is one amazing man!
"Ok, next time padlock mo keps mo!" I chided her jokingly.
"Ay di na po ako uulit! Sa kanya na lang if ever." I asked her about her reproductive system, she said the doctor told her everything is ok so far, ovaries and uterus seem fine. She went on telling me how hard it was to be naglilihi, that after her D&C she stopped burping every 2 minutes and stopped throwing up. I laughed.
Then she said, "I know, I have to carry this for as long as I live. I have to live with my decision."
"Just be careful next time," I said. "I wont berate you anymore... I hope you learned your lesson."
"I did," she said. "Grabe! Di na ako uulit!"
"Di ka na makikipag sex ever?" I grinned.
"I wont have a reason to do it again kasi di na ako magloloko. Sa BF ko na lang, he's ready na to make babies." Then she said, "Ate thank you ha."
"Thank you? Saan?" I wondered.
"Salamat at nde mo ko nipuntahan sa bahay at hinambalos ng rolled up newspaper," a chat slap.
"Sus, I don't know where you live." I added, "I won't do that... Your problems should be enough to torture you diba? Dadagdagan ko pa ba?"
"Salamat talaga. I know half of the time gusto mo ko wasiwasin pero you gave me options," she said.
"I would never do that to anyone in your situation," I assured her. She smiled at what I said but I'm sure she's smiling at herself for being lucky.

I have nothing against people who have casual sex or one night stands or premarital sex. I have dear friends, male and female friends, who've had casual sex/one night stand to satisfy their needs and I'm comfy with that. These are my friends who are smart, witty, funny, sensible professionals, they just happen to have this need that had to be taken care of that's why they went on and did it, some are still doing it.
What are the possible consequences of having unprocted sex? Unwanted pregnancy for one, sexually transitted disease, and some other form of physical trauma (I have another friend whose vagina had to be sewn up because her vagina was too small for the guy's penis but she just let him do it anyway). What are the possible dangers of having one night stands or casual sex? Physical abuse, sexual abuse, indiscreet partners who put you in a bad light.
Not that I'm passing judgement but I'm wondering why 27, she's had 2 BFs and 3 sex partners in 4 months. If she had unprotected sex with someone who's not her BF (Dindo), then I'm sure she had unprocted sex with Kiko and her American BF as well. This is not counting the so called boylets she's been flirting with before she met them and the other times in between. I'm not passing judgement but it's hard to ignore something like this. Maybe she gave in to her needs and urges, true, but wait till she reaches my age! At my age you dont have needs and urges, you have NEEDS and URGES! If she can't exercise self control at 27 what more when she reaches 37? I'm 37 and I KNOW what sexual peak means, I'm so ripe I just could fall off the vine. Thank God I still haven't. I'm too scared of the consequences to just take the risk. I nearly did but I talked to a male friend who warned me that I could get physically abused, it's a possibility no one can tell. That stopped me dead on my tracks.
She's lucky, God or Fate or a higher intelligence or the universe, smiled on her and let her have this chance to correct her mistakes. She's lucky to have an understanding and loving BF, she's lucky the damage to her reproductive system could hopefully be minimal. The money she spent can always be earned by hard work. I just really hope she learned her lesson well, otherwise I would have to add a part 5 to this.


I would like to apologize and thank the people who have been very patient with me, thank you for sending your feedback/suggestions/opinions. I hope that we could all learn something from this story. We are still in the dark ages when it comes to sex and responsibility. Our country should stop being prude and start taking up measures to prevent this sort of thing from happening. Information dissemination on contraception would help, legalization of abortion is also an option but this to me is extreme. I know if we make information and contraception accessible then women won't have to resort to extreme measures like taking cytotec from some obscure botika in Quiapo or even have a wirehanger abortion. Legalizing abortion would mean eradicating clinics that are unsanitary/unhygenic and have unsafe abortion practices.
I remember this ad on CNN about abuse on women, that women are still forced to have unprotected sex. We should realize that we are all responsible for our actions. Mia knew better but she went on and did it unprotected. Ignorance is not excuse.