Saturday, February 05, 2005

Sex and Consequence - Hopefully The Final Chapter

I saw her online last week, a big sigh of relief! At least I know she's fine. She said she's fine, the D&C went well but she's now US $820 poorer plus airfare. She went on telling me how hard it was to be naglilihi and that she was able to talk to Dindo before she left for Singapore. She said, "Dindo said he's was willing to take responsibility and was willing to support me and the kid. I know naman daw how he feels abt me."
"How does he feel about you?" I asked.
"Ay, nagprofess ng undying love, " she said.
"He loves you?"
She added, "Yan ang sabi ng lolo mo. Sabi ko kelan mo napagtanto yan? Matagal na raw, sabi ko parang hindi ko naramdaman."
"He professed his undying love after this incident? Hehehehe!" I sniggered at the thought.
"You may have told me how you feel about me eh naitanong mo ba saken how I feel about you? Tanong sya how i feel abt him daw, sabi ko not nearly enough for me to want to keep this baby! Nagulantang siya." Apparently, she has no feelings for Dindo and had no felt no remorse for terminating the life in her womb.
Then she went on with her story, how she had a hard time after her D&C, it felt like she was having major PMS after her D&C. She had to pay more because she's not a citizen of Singapore. She said her BF was there to meet her and stayed with her till she left for the Philippines.
"Your BF was there? So he knows? What did he say?" I was surprised.
"He met me there for the operation. Yes, he knows and he offered to help with the expenses. Sabi ko i have enough money naman, nakunsensya nga ako eh actually he wanted for us to keep the baby ready na naman daw sya maryones eh chinito ang Dindo, Amerkano ang fafa ko, maryones! Gulong malupet yon! So I just told him I'm not ready yet."
"Hmm... You didn't tell him the truth?"
"I did, told him before I left for Singapore. He said since it happened before kame officially naging kame, he can deal with it." Then se added, "He'd be ok daw naman if i want to keep it, I said never talaga!" He is one amazing man!
"Ok, next time padlock mo keps mo!" I chided her jokingly.
"Ay di na po ako uulit! Sa kanya na lang if ever." I asked her about her reproductive system, she said the doctor told her everything is ok so far, ovaries and uterus seem fine. She went on telling me how hard it was to be naglilihi, that after her D&C she stopped burping every 2 minutes and stopped throwing up. I laughed.
Then she said, "I know, I have to carry this for as long as I live. I have to live with my decision."
"Just be careful next time," I said. "I wont berate you anymore... I hope you learned your lesson."
"I did," she said. "Grabe! Di na ako uulit!"
"Di ka na makikipag sex ever?" I grinned.
"I wont have a reason to do it again kasi di na ako magloloko. Sa BF ko na lang, he's ready na to make babies." Then she said, "Ate thank you ha."
"Thank you? Saan?" I wondered.
"Salamat at nde mo ko nipuntahan sa bahay at hinambalos ng rolled up newspaper," a chat slap.
"Sus, I don't know where you live." I added, "I won't do that... Your problems should be enough to torture you diba? Dadagdagan ko pa ba?"
"Salamat talaga. I know half of the time gusto mo ko wasiwasin pero you gave me options," she said.
"I would never do that to anyone in your situation," I assured her. She smiled at what I said but I'm sure she's smiling at herself for being lucky.

I have nothing against people who have casual sex or one night stands or premarital sex. I have dear friends, male and female friends, who've had casual sex/one night stand to satisfy their needs and I'm comfy with that. These are my friends who are smart, witty, funny, sensible professionals, they just happen to have this need that had to be taken care of that's why they went on and did it, some are still doing it.
What are the possible consequences of having unprocted sex? Unwanted pregnancy for one, sexually transitted disease, and some other form of physical trauma (I have another friend whose vagina had to be sewn up because her vagina was too small for the guy's penis but she just let him do it anyway). What are the possible dangers of having one night stands or casual sex? Physical abuse, sexual abuse, indiscreet partners who put you in a bad light.
Not that I'm passing judgement but I'm wondering why 27, she's had 2 BFs and 3 sex partners in 4 months. If she had unprotected sex with someone who's not her BF (Dindo), then I'm sure she had unprocted sex with Kiko and her American BF as well. This is not counting the so called boylets she's been flirting with before she met them and the other times in between. I'm not passing judgement but it's hard to ignore something like this. Maybe she gave in to her needs and urges, true, but wait till she reaches my age! At my age you dont have needs and urges, you have NEEDS and URGES! If she can't exercise self control at 27 what more when she reaches 37? I'm 37 and I KNOW what sexual peak means, I'm so ripe I just could fall off the vine. Thank God I still haven't. I'm too scared of the consequences to just take the risk. I nearly did but I talked to a male friend who warned me that I could get physically abused, it's a possibility no one can tell. That stopped me dead on my tracks.
She's lucky, God or Fate or a higher intelligence or the universe, smiled on her and let her have this chance to correct her mistakes. She's lucky to have an understanding and loving BF, she's lucky the damage to her reproductive system could hopefully be minimal. The money she spent can always be earned by hard work. I just really hope she learned her lesson well, otherwise I would have to add a part 5 to this.


I would like to apologize and thank the people who have been very patient with me, thank you for sending your feedback/suggestions/opinions. I hope that we could all learn something from this story. We are still in the dark ages when it comes to sex and responsibility. Our country should stop being prude and start taking up measures to prevent this sort of thing from happening. Information dissemination on contraception would help, legalization of abortion is also an option but this to me is extreme. I know if we make information and contraception accessible then women won't have to resort to extreme measures like taking cytotec from some obscure botika in Quiapo or even have a wirehanger abortion. Legalizing abortion would mean eradicating clinics that are unsanitary/unhygenic and have unsafe abortion practices.
I remember this ad on CNN about abuse on women, that women are still forced to have unprotected sex. We should realize that we are all responsible for our actions. Mia knew better but she went on and did it unprotected. Ignorance is not excuse.


masterbetong said...

Whew! What can I say, you said it all na. All things boils down to hypocrisy. Kasi naman we're the only "Christian" nation in Asia, so what would you expect.

And hello! ang dami pa ring lalaking nabubuhay sa panahon ng Kastila. I guess machismo is very evident in countries once ruled by the Spaniards, ang dami kasi nating pwedeng matutunan yun pang mali iniwan natin. Well I hope that this will be your last entry on that subject matter.

Thanks pala for linking me, I will link you soon, I'm on the process of re-designing my site.

Anonymous said...

ateeeeeeee....happy VD....
baka ibang klaseng VD yong pinost mo sa site ko...anyway
maligayang araw ng mga puson...este puso...hehehe


Anonymous said...

ateeeeeeee....happy VD....
baka ibang klaseng VD yong pinost mo sa site ko...anyway
maligayang araw ng mga puson...este puso...hehehe


Anonymous said...

ateeeeeeee....happy VD....
baka ibang klaseng VD yong pinost mo sa site ko...anyway
maligayang araw ng mga puson...este puso...hehehe


fionski said...

D&C is dilation and curettage, also known here as RASPA.

mari said...

i hope she learned well sis

Cerridwen said...

ate fions, it is a good thing that her uterus remained alright, she must be one of the medical miracle.

Hopefully she really learn somehting from this situation.

Mec said...

a part of me hopes that my partner would always be libidinal... so that I won't have to entertain thoughts of going astray...

but that's so limited-minded of me to even say this, because going astray isn't the only choice... and isn't really dependent or dictated by a spouse's sexual abilities and inabilities

anyway, here's to protected and responsible sex... i hope people would understand that it's usually the most fun :)

Anonymous said...

buti opposite ka ng friend mo.


CHICAY said...

woohhh.... I hope her love story will end up a happy ending. :) I cannot just imagine at her age she has a boyfriend and 3 sex partners!!! My own point of view, it is not an unwanted pregnancy. She's of age, she knows what she's doing or an expert (for having four partners) and very much aware of the consequence. Lucky for her, internal organs were pretty much in good condition. Albeit I have no right to judge her, I just cannot find any reasons of her unwanted pregnancy.