Monday, December 21, 2009

Most Popular New Year's Resolutions

From Wikipedia:

A New Year's resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year's Day and remain until fulfilled or abandoned.

I didn't know resolutions are supposed to start on New Year's eve. I only had one resolution or goal that I started on New Year's Eve and was able to accomplish: I've stopped smoking since Dec. 31, 2002. All other resolutions or goals I made I have either forgotten or abandoned. Hehehe.

In the United States, popular goals include:

* Lose weight
* Get out of debt
* Become more organized
* Maintain a diary
* Save money
* Improve grades
* Get a better job
* Get fit
* Eat right
* Get a better education
* Drink less alcohol
* Quit smoking
* Reduce stress
* Take a trip
* Volunteer to help others
* Be less grumpy
* Be more independent
* Learn something new (such as a foreign language or music)
* Be more of a douchebag

Recent research shows that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved their goals. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting, a system where small measurable goals are used (lose a pound a week, instead of saying "lose weight"), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.

I always believed in goals rather than resolutions. I'm posting this topic to use for my classes/discussions.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Google Wave Yay!

I got my Google Wave account a few days ago, thanks to the ever reliable Sandro. Liyam sent me an invite too but I already activated the one from Sandro. Anyway, thanks to Liyam as well, a friend now has his own account.

I still have a few invites left and I'd like to give them away. I wonder if there are any takers. I have to think of a gimmick. Hehehe.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Thursday, September 24, 2009

May Gatas Pa Sa Labia?

A friend posted this pic on Facebook. She put the caption "may panis na Magnulia melk pa sa labi" (spoiled milk on the lips) pero ang basa ko labia instead of labi. Hehehe.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Smart Bro

I just called Smart Bro CS to have my account canceled. According to the CS, SmartBro has upgraded their speed to 1Mbps. I told her that if someone had informed me about this, I shouldn't have gotten a PLDT line anymore. Since August pa raw yung upgrade nila to which I said no one has made a formal announcement about this. Gusto pa akong pilosopohin ng gaga.

Here is the result of the SmartBro test.

PLDT Xperience

Is this true?

I need to do the test again tonight.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Homebased English Tutors

A new Korean website that offers online English tutorials will open this year. They are looking for homebased English teachers. This job offers a lot of flexibility, teachers may select their teaching hours and days. Part timers, teachers, students, call center agents and anyone who has good English communication skills may apply.

Please follow the instructions to facilitate the process.

The Qualifications:

* Good command of the English language, meaning can understand and speak English well, no to minimal grammatical errors.
* A clear voice with a good accent. You don't need to have an American or British accent, a neutral accent would be best as long as you don't have a strong Filipino accent (Bisaya, Ilocano, etc.)
* Good attitude towards work. Filipinos have the reputation of always being late, and some, always absent.
* Have a pleasant personality and can accept constructive criticism.

Take note that it doesn't matter if you are a college graduate or not. Your skill and attitude are more important that a diploma.

The Requirements:

1. A reliable computer. Minimun specs: XP with at least 500MB RAM.
2. Stable Internet connection. Broadband or DSL, wired is preferred but not necessary.
3. Webcam
4. Headset or mic and speakers
5. Skype program. You may download this from
6. Updated resume.

The instructions:
You have to send your updated resume to the Tutor Manager Cristy, include your skype ID as well. Her e-mail address is cziley2k2 [at] Tell her you got this information from Fiona. On the subject line of your e-mail, put your name and the position. Example: Juan Dela Cruz - Online Tutor.

Once you've sent your resume, you may add her to your Skype contact list. Her Skype ID is edelweiss322. Just mention when you are requesting to be added that you are an applicant. Please wait for her response as she may not be able to immediately do this since she is also teaching and then does her interviews when she has the time. She will schedule you for an interview and also a demo. She will not proceed with the demo if you do not have your webcam installed so please be prepared.

You may think that we pay too much attention to detail or are strict. Actually, I am giving you all these instructions to facilitate the screening process. Don't be intimidated by my e-mail. Just follow the instructions here and you'll be fine.

For the rate, you need to ask teacher Cristy that. It's ok to ask her. You may ask her anything you want as long as it's related to the job.

I hope my instructions were clear. The site will open in 2 months and they are looking for 10 - 20 teachers to start the ball rolling.

Good luck!

  • Location: Anywhere
  • Compensation: To be discussed
  • Telecommuting is ok.
  • This is a part-time job.
  • OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities

Thursday, July 30, 2009

From Carmela

Sent by Carmela again. She's really busy these days.

1. Yaya buys food at McDo.
Crew: "Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?"
Yaya: "Puwede sa table?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

2. Kid: "Yaya look, boats!"
Yaya: "Dows are not boats, dey´re yachts."
Kid: "Yaya, spell yachts?"
Yaya: "Yor rayt, dey are boats."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor´s office.
Doc: "Bottlefed?"
Woman: "Brea - stfed po."
(Doctors squeezes woman´s breasts repeatedly)
Doc: "Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh."
Woman: "Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.
She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor:
"Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
Our yaya came back and said: "Ma´am, wala pong Inquirer
kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

6. Yaya: "Huhuhu..."
Ate: "O, bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
Ate: "Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?"
Yaya: "Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi."
Ate: "O, bakit ka di makatulog?"
Yaya: "Kasi po may pinoproblema ako..."
Ate: "Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?"
Yaya: "Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

7. (Earlier) Mom: "Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!"
(Later) Son: "Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?"
Yaya: "Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.
I angrily asked her, "Paano mo naman nasunog to?"
She answered: "Secret!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :
"Ang pangit naman, happy ending!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

10. Sir: "Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!"
Yaya: "Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

11. Mom: "Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!"
Yaya: "Ano po lulutuin ko?"
Mom: "It´s up to you."
(During dinner) Mom: "Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?"
Yaya: "Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, `kitsup tuyo´!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

12. Our neighbor´s yaya: "Junjun, chew your mouth!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: "Miss isang Coke in can
at isang Sprite na Coke in can..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

14. SIR: "Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!"
INDAY: "Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?"
SIR: "Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!"
INDAY: "Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin...kapkeyk..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.
She answered: "Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

16. "O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!"
Ate: "Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?"
Yaya: "Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
Sabi namin: "Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?"
Yaya: "Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, `concentrate´..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

18. Neighbor´s yaya telling her ward to climb down the stairs:
"Down to earth! Down to earth!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
"Ma´am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya´s son.
So one day I was reviewing him: "The Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun.

Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?" His mom, our yaya, answered:
"Parang Watson´s yata..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

21. Sir: "Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?"
Yaya: "Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!"
Sir: "Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?"
Yaya: "Gunting, kuya! Gunting!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

22. Yaya to tricycle driver: "Magkano sa City Hall?"
Driver: "Ikaw lang?" Yaya: "Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
Kuya: "Yaya..."
Yaya: "Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!"
Kuya: "Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!"
Yaya: "Si Koya naman...nagsa-suggest lang..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

24. Kid: "Yaya, spell orange?"
Yaya: "Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
"Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.
At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

26. Yaya to my brother: "Nag tothbrush ka na ng ipin?"
Bro: "Siyempre, alangan namang mag toothbrush ako ng kilikili!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

27. (after being scolded for breaking her promises):
"Ma´am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit...promise!"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

28. AMO: "Bakit namatay ang aso?"
MAID: "Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap."
AMO: "Nakamamatay ba yun?"
MAID: "Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

29. Yaya picking up the phone saying: " Hilo ?"
We noticed that she was holding the handset ng baligtad.
We told her, "Yaya, baliktad!"
Then Yaya said: "Lohi?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

30. Amo: Yaya use COOLING PLACE in a sentence.
Yaya: Sir! viry easy! iksample nagring yung phone,
(ring, ring, ring,) Yaya answered, " HILO , WHO'S COOLING PLACE?"

Saturday, July 25, 2009

March 15 was Penis Day in Japan

My dear friend, Carmela, sent me the e-mail below. I saw a movie in the late 80's called Shocking Asia that featured this thing. Talk about phallic worship -- literally! Aliw!

How could we have missed it? March 15 was Penis Day in Japan . Here are the photos. The actual festival is called Honen Matsuri. Celebrated every March 15 in Komaki, a town about 45 minutes north of Nagoya , Japan , this is the time of year where folks haul out a large wooden penis to give three cheers to fertility and renewal. The custom is an old one that is connected to bringing about a good harvest and having babies.


Saturday, June 06, 2009

Amazing Russian Army Test

I found this on The Inquisitr. Read on:

The above chart is said to be an entry level test for the Russian army. According to English Russia, the instructions read:

Six questions that help to identify any hidden psychological diseases young soldier might. If the soldier can’t see the number in one of the 6 circles on the test picture, the he likely might having:

Can’t see circle 1: High agression, proneness to conflict, the recommendation is to add more physical excercise and cold showers.

Can’t see circle 2: Possible low than average intellectual abilities, can’t serve with sophisticated equipment.

Can’t see circle 3: Possible debauchery, soldier should get increased daily ration, should get more physical activity tasks, should not be connected to food supplies, etc.

Can’t see circle 4: Possible inclination to violence, can be assigend as a leader to his unit, as he can preserve discipline.

Can’t see circle 5: Possible latent homosexuality. Can be light uncontrolled accesses of attraction to the same sex.

Can’t see circle 6: Possible schizophreanic tendency. Required additional inspection.

Every soldier should be tested before assignment, according to the order #2299.”

Which one didn't you see?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Strange, Scary

A few minutes ago, I took out the trash to the gate so that it would be easy to take it to the basurero when they arrive. I did not notice our next door neighbor (I live in a compound) was looking out her 2nd floor window. As I turned to head back to the house, she called me.

"Fiona," I heard faintly. I turned and I saw her on the 2nd floor of her house. "Auntie," I acknowledge her presence. "Hindi ka ba natatakot na mag isa dyan sa bahay mo?" I smiled and responded, "Hindi po. Takot na po ang mga multo sa akin." We both laughed. But as I walked away, I wondered why she asked that question. I've been living in this house alone for more than 2 years now but she never mentioned anything like this to me. Then I remembered the tsismis I heard about her, people said she is a mangkuku***. No one can really say that she is one. She and her family are kinda strange. I thought maybe she sees something ordinary humans do not see? I wanted to rush back to the gate to ask her if she has seen or sensed something in my house but I was afraid I would offend her.

I am not psychic but there have been instances wherein I have sensed or seen something in this house: a radio dial turning and changing stations by itself, floating dresses, footfalls in my room when no one is there, etc. Last time I sensed something was late last year after my uncle died. I saw a shadow pass by me while I was in still in bed watching TV. It could have been my imagination.

Good luck to me.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Using a Condom

I remember years ago, a friend told me that he told his son that he should always use a condom. He said that he instructed him to masturbate with a condom on so he would get used to the "feeling." I've mentioned this to 2 male cousins, a chatmate who had a son (he was so tigang that he thought it was an invitation, sheesh!) and some co-workers.

This story came to mind after I discovered an online magazine. I saw an old message from a friend. He was featured in an online magazine. Unfortunately, the link expired but I explored the main URL. I found the title of this topic catching:

Would You Use a Condom When Sucking? You Should!

I once had a sex partner who wouldn’t let me suck him without a condom. It was weird, like eating ice candy without first opening it. But his dick was really yummy, so I just gave in, and sucked him the way he wanted to be sucked.
But what’s up with that?

You may want to visit the Outrage.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Wash Yo Nuts!

This was sent to me by my former trainer Rome. Guys and gays should really listen to what the lady here is saying.
Really funny!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Men in Kilts

My friend sent me an e-mail about men in kilts. Do these men wear anything underneath?

See for yourself.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Record Breaking Breasts!!!

I saw a news clip on TV about this woman's breast. Of course I searched for "record breaking breasts" and found her name and the size of her twins.

A woman from Texas has reportedly undergone nine breast enlargement operations to become the proud owner of the world's largest breast implants — size 38KKK.

I found her site and borrowed some of her pics from her website. Click on the images to get to her site.

I hope she is doing a whole lot of back exercises. She will eventually feel pain in her back since her front is heavy.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Rest in Peace Kuya Dong

Another relative passed away yesterday. Manuel Dadufalza also known as Dong, is now with his Creator after battling cancer.

I am speechless.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Happy New Year!

I am taking stock of my life. I have stepped back and look back at my life in 2008. I am not to be critical with myself or what has happened to me but I have to understand what has happened to me, how would I have changed things, what I have accomplished, what still needs to be accomplished. I have to remind myself of what I want to do, what I love to do, what is important to me, how can I improve myself.

Part of the process of taking stock of my life is my taking a leap of faith. I know in my heart that what I just did a few days ago is a great leap of faith. I still do not know what will happen to me in the end but I know I'll be able to accomplish a few but important things or tasks that I have been putting off due to time constraints.

One of the things I need to do is finish mourning for my loss (my Lola) and get my "closure." I feel I am still in mourning. People see me smiling or being funny but of course, they do not see me when I am serious or alone. I do not expect anyone to understand me, I expect people to respect my desire to be left alone for a while, while I go through my process.

I came across this site about taking a leap of faith. I Googled "take stock of your life" and found Take a Leap of Faith in 2008. Good read.